Friday, 3 November 2017

How to get through difficult times?

We all go through hard times, sometimes a really tough, tough ones. That’s what I have been constantly telling myself recently-that the time is rough. When I look back, for the past 7 years, since I left the family nest and started my journey in the big world, it’s never been easy and my life has gone through many dramatic changes. Apparently, according to psychotherapists people very often create problems for themselves, just because they need obstacles, challenges and some windmills to fight with on a daily basis.That’s the conclusion some of them have reached through their work with clients.

To a certain point I definitely agree with them. But I also have another answer. In my country emotional health is not a popular topic to talk about. It’s not for people to take, it’s not an essential need. For some it’s a luxury, which they can’t actually afford. For others it’s a very embarrassing topic. That’s why people struggle in silence, that’s why they live in misery and pain and overall live a very unhappy and unsatisfying life, because they don’t know how to deal with the struggles.

And it shouldn't be like that. We can always change it for the better. I believe it must be a human right to have access to the right resources in a time of need. Undoubtedly, we are living in a century which is extremely challenging for our emotional health. The new technologies and the problematic relationships we are witnessing nowadays, the alienation from the real world and the inability to create strong, lasting, real interactions are really having a toll on us. We are living in confusing times when people doubt who they are and what they want. In these times I really believe it’s essential to have someone to turn to for guidance and to search for techniques to cope with struggles. It's essential to look for answers and to work towards achieving a balance within ourselves on a daily basis.

No matter if we talk about it or not, we all have our demons, problems and hardships. The question is how we are going to react to them. It’s always a matter of perspective whether the glass is going to be half empty or half full. And while it’s appealing and always better to have someone in our life to show us the direction and help us with advice and consolation, if we don’t have this person at that particular time, there is something called self-help. I know there are thousands of books out there part of the self-help stream and that’s not a coincidence and it’s not just a matter of fact. Because people who have gone down this path know very well that the most powerful tool and weapon is our own self. We possess the power to both salvation and destruction. It’s us, our mind, our choices and conscious which will determine the path we will take.

It’s not the surroundings, it’s how we perceive the world and how we deal with what is being send our way. That’s why I started with the simple “a matter of perspective” phrase. It was still a warm and sunny when one day I had to go and pick up Alex from nursery. It was one of those days when I had lost the will for everything. Doing all of the daily chorus on my own at this current stage could be very daunting. That’s why walking the same path down to nursery with sour taste in my mouth and pain in my heart, I decided to look around and take a deep breath in.

I was walking through one of the most beautiful little parks in Sofia. It was mesmerising, all of the colours, smells, children's laughs and smiles, peoples faces. It was full of life, colours and scents. I could see it was a little heaven's garden. And that’s was my everyday’s route which was leading me to when I will see my little boy angel’s face. Basically, as much as a cliche it sounds, it does matter how we perceive things. It’s a choice. My life at the moment is far from ideal, but I can crush or I can pick myself up, build myself again and live for the small meaningful moments, rather than focus on the breaking points. Because that’s life and good follows bad and the other way round, the cycle never ends.

What helps you to go through difficult stages in your life? Is it sport, friends, family, journey, counseling?  We all need a safe place, what is yours?  

P.S. I want to express a warm feeling of gratitude towards everyone who got in touch with me after my last post. I felt your love and support and I thank you for that. <3 font="">

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