Friday, 10 November 2017

5 Life Lessons I Learned This Year

1. Nothing lasts forever

Nothing is set in stone. Nothing is promised to never end. Everything transforms, both on physical and emotional level. I have always had this bad habit to consider everything unchangeable. I never see the bad things coming until it’s too late. A bit naive.  This year I was taught the hardest lesson. People change, people transform, sometimes for good, sometimes for worse but you can’t expect someone to be always the same. Also, things happen, just because you can’t predict them, doesn’t mean that they can’t happen. No one is insured, secured or guaranteed anything. That’s why I believe we should take care and do our best now in the present moment, every day of our life. We shouldn’t live for 10 years in the future, we shouldn’t live for the past. We should be in the present with all our conscious and realise the great responsibility we have for our own happiness. This means being caring, responsible, loving and appreciative on a daily basis, because sometimes tomorrow never comes and another chance to do better won’t be given.

2. Don’t be too proud to accept and ask for help

Another hard lesson and probably most challenging. I have always found very difficult to ask for help, to be vocal about my issues and too proud to accept anything. During the years though, life has not surprisingly put me in numerous situations where turning for help was crucial. Still every time it’s been very difficult to win the fight over myself. Until this year. I think I finally started breaking the walls and be more realistic about the fact no one is a super human and there is nothing embarrassing to admit you can’t do everything on your own, no matter how much you strive to. Help is good, people supporting each other is  amazing. That’s what the ideal society would be. When you are in a position to share and help do it, when you need help, ask for it. Everything is so transitional, objects come and go, human interactions stay and leave a trace in people’s lives and hearts. That’s what really matters.

3. Idealism over materialism

We live in a materialistic world. Sadly, currently too materialistic. Nice shiny objects are all around us, tempting us from every advert, shop window, computer screen. It’s normal, it’s 21st century, we are consumerists, we buy, that’s what satisfies different needs, cravings and necessities. And while the world is very unbalanced, and we are part from the more materialistic side of it and we can’t escape from it, unless we run towards the woods and give up on the civilization, it’s yet again our choice whether we are going to be slaves of the objects or they will be our servants. I grew up in a very stable and safe environment but it all changed when I started living on my own. I never had a saving account or money to start me off on some decent beginning. When Alex was on the way we were very financially insecure, but it was our first baby and even people offered some clothes and etc. it was our first child, you want to get all those first baby grows and little cute necessities yourself. Even though we were very tight with money and couldn’t rely on anyone, we pulled it with much love and loads of discount shopping. This time around with my second pregnancy I have to secure everything for my baby on my own and as much as I want to go on this baby spree for a second time, I can’t and it’s not a big deal. I came to terms that I will be more than happy to accept this baby cot or whatever friends offer for the baby, because all I wish is the baby to be healthy, happy and showered with love. With brand new or second hand pram I just want the little one to have the basics and never be deprived from the main things-warm home, roof under his head love and care. Of course anytime I could I would buy him the nicest little outfit and fluffy toy, but I have come to terms that objects are not everything and their lack or possession shouldn’t define who we are.

4. Prioritise right

The most painful lesson of all was about how to prioritise in life. For a long time I thought that I could simultaneously do many things and spread my energy in numerous directions successfully. But it doesn’t work that way. If you focus too much on one aspect of life it’s inevitable all of the rest to suffer in one way or another. We do choices, we do sacrifices. There is nothing wrong to be devoted to your career or dedicate yourself to your family, or why not do both?Everything is possible, but everything does also cost. This year I had to leave a job I loved, because it was depriving me from family time. I was starting early and finishing late and it seriously affected my role as a mum for a long time. Luckily, I also love my new job but it also gives me more flexibility and less stress. I can pick up Alex from nursery, think about dinner and also be productive even from home which is fantastic. I regret deeply for all the time I missed with my family during these years of being too focused on the career path but now I know what comes first for me and that is family.

5. Be thankful

Being thankful and appreciative for what comes and goes in your life is extremely important. Also, it is great to incorporate this into your daily routine I have learned. There is no other feeling like the one of gratitude, it fills your heart with warmth and love. It’s a very beautiful and positive emotion. There is loads to be thankful for, just sadly very often we take our lives for granted and strive for more not appreciating what we already have, which leads to misery and unhappiness. It is also harder to focus on the good when there is so much bad happening in the world, but deep in our souls we know that simplicity is everything, simplicity is the key to happiness. Which means we should be thankful for the little things in our lives, the things that make it worth living and meaningful. Even in the worst of days, try to find something to be grateful for, it will make all the difference. A lesson to keep me going even in the darkest of times.

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