Tuesday, 22 August 2017

Siblings bond

After another long pause I am happy to pop back on a positive note with a very special topic. I am starting a little bit further in the story, and I will come back later to fill the gaps, but for now I want to share some happy news which has been going on for a few months. Today I am talking about being pregnant for the second time with a toddler around. I am not going to focus on the pregnancy yet, but on the experience Alex is going through with another baby on the way, his little...

I haven’t imagined that I would be discussing the siblings bond at such an early stage but what I came to realize is that the relationship between offsprings is created from the very beginning.

I never waited for Alex to notice a big bump and start asking questions before I tell him he is going to become a big brother. Actually, everything happened very early and in a very natural way. To be honest he already knew before I even told him, something which I still can’t explain to myself. I don’t remember him hearing anything, from anyone, but one day he just came to me and asked “Mummy, do you have a baby in you stomach?” Yes, I can swear he asked me just that and I was dumbfound.

Anyway, I was planning to tell him, so I said “Yes, Alex you are going to become a big brother and there is a tiny baby here”. Of course, he needed a good amount of time to slowly realize things, accept and fully come to terms with the idea. Initially, I think he was a bit worried for me. He would look at my belly and stare in a little disbelief and maybe fear. “What for God’s sake is happening here?”,“Where is that baby?”,“Is mummy ok, is that good or bad?” These questions and more I was reading in his eyes. He would ask me every day, at least twice “Mummy, do you have a baby in your belly?” And I would calmly say : “Yes, Alex there is a baby in mummy’s stomach”, to which he would simply say OK.

Eventually, after many confirmations, he accepted it as a matter of fact, undoubtedly a very exciting one, because he started telling everyone around him. First, teachers at his nursery would ask me if I am expecting, because Alex had ‘’accidentally’’ been telling about a baby in mummy's belly. He would even talk to other kids and parents on the playground, blurting out of the blue that his mummy has a baby in her stomach. I think he became even a little obsessed with it because I would constantly hear him talking about it here and there. But bless him, I knew he is happy, excited and it was nothing to really worry about. Just I was worried for other’s people sake if they have to hear it every day :) You know how much toddlers love repeating things, right?

Then, it came the moment to know whether it’s going to be a girl or a boy… And surprise, not, of course we are having another baby boy :) There is no point in saying I wouldn’t mind a girl for a change but since it’s not a choice, I am embracing the idea and just wishing for a happy and healthy little baby. Yes, I can’t wait to have him in my arms and smell his enchanting baby scent. I was very surprised from Alex’s reaction when I told him that he will have a brother. He became quite upset, because apparently he wanted a baby sister? Can you believe that? In the end,after many repetitions we came to an agreement that we will welcome a little brother and that is nothing upsetting.

6 months later, Alex is quite happy and content and there isn’t a day without him telling that he loves the baby, and that the baby is his friend. He would run towards me, hug my belly and kiss it. I am telling you there is no such amazing feeling like that, to see the happiness and love in a little toddlers eyes, his affection in his smile and little hands ready to embrace.
Of course, a 3,5 years old toddler isn’t coming without strops and when he has one of those moments, he would say he won’t be friend with the baby, but that happens very rarely and still makes me laugh in a cute and funny way.

Apart form that, he shows me he is also impatient to hug the little baby because he frequently asks me when the doctor is ”going to take the baby out?” I say when the snow comes Alex and the next day he already Asks: “Where is the snow”. Bless the little impatient heart, I think he will be a truly amazing big brother, he will learn to share, to respect, share his love and toys and even maybe to be a little more responsible.

I believe it’s good to start preparing the older sibling from early on and I am very happy that this happened in such a sweet and natural way with Alex without forcing anything. As a bigger sister I still remember how my mum once on the way to school asked me if I want to have a brother or sister. I was struck and didn’t know what to think, but I was very excited, too, because I immediately shared with my best friend. I doubt Alex would remember any of our conversations because he is way much younger than I was, but still, the bond has been already created and this really makes my heart burst with love. It’s amazing!
What about you mums, how did your older children react to the news? No doubt, there are amazing stories!  

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