Thursday, 17 April 2014

When your angel turns into a little monster

Unfortunately, with all the love, joy, happiness and unicorns comes some “I just want to sit and cry” moments, when you want to shut out from the world and dive into your own misery. But you can’t, because you have a baby, that won’t stop crying. And yes, this is probably the reason for your drama.

 Have you heard the saying:  little kids little problems, big kids big problems? Alex is still far from being a big kid, but I think I start to understand what we got ourselves into! Having a newborn is absolutely exhausting, but having a 3 month old that won’t go to sleep, won’t sit in his bouncy chair, won’t eat and won’t do anything else except for testing your nerves… is a whole new level of being a parent.

There is no trace of the sleepy little baby that I was holding just recently! He would wake every 2 hours for a feed, but he would fall asleep immediately, leaving me with at least an hour for myself. Everyone would say such a good baby! Right, do you want to see him now?  

Apparently growing is a painful process, but what is more painful is not to be able to understand what is actually bugging your little baby. And sadly, the only way he can show you he is going through something big is crying as hard as he can… Ouch I am really not sure if my hearing is still the same after today!

Our health visitor introduced us to a chart that follows the first 20 months of the baby’s development and shows when a baby goes through brain changes, so called “leaps”. And because these changes happen in such a short period of time, and it's kind of a scary development, it can manifest in “poor sleep, bad appetite, crying, clinging and crankiness-exhausting and frustrating mum and dad”, also known as stormy periods.

We have been through a few stormy periods already, but this time was different. Fussiness was accompanied by red cheeks, lots of dribbling, lack of appetite and great uneasiness… So, what are we doing now? 

Cuddles are still the best possible remedy for our beloved babies, but it can be really exhausting to stand for hours, just because your lo starts crying as soon as you sit down (how do they even notice the difference?! )

Strolling out with a pushchair seems to be the best possible option as I realized that as soon as we walk out of the door in his pram, he is fast asleep. I am just not so sure how to keep moving for at least a few hours, because as soon as we stop moving…. He starts to cry...

Alex got his very first gummy toys, just I wish he was paying more attention to them… not only when I kind of put them in his face.

Feed? I can’t believe he lost much of his appetite during the last couple of days and instead of drying a bottle after bottle he is barely finishing them…

Putting him to bed has been a huge struggle... OMG is this really my baby?

I won’t lie, these last weeks have been a real challenge, but I know this is only the beginning, because:  little kids little problems, big kids big problems. And I have sat for some time crying while my partner was rocking a very upset baby… But no matter how tired and upset I could get at time, I know I have one of the most amazing and unique opportunities - to watch a little human being growing in front of my eyes, seeing him doing a new thing every other day – new facial expression, new sound, brand new movement. I can’t help but feel proud and look forward to his first tooth, his first word, his first steps…

It’s overwhelming, but also magical, because there is nothing like your little child looking into your eyes with his innocence and unconditional love. I am going through a pain that I wouldn’t exchange for for the world. 


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