Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Thoughts on parenthood inspired by Peaches Geldof


The last column Peaches Geldof wrote for the baby magazine Mother & Baby, has touched many people, not only because it was her last, but also because many mums can relate to it. Reading this beautiful, but also heartbreaking article left me feeling very moved and send me into some deep thoughts about something that big percentage of mums experience at some point of their life - feelings of loneliness and abandonment. 

 “Who cares that parenthood means less partying and late-night dinners, asks Peaches? Certainly not your real friends – and the others are just missing out”.

Reading the opening of the article made me immediately relate to it and provoked a feeling of sadness, because I have been asked by a friend, just recently, if having a child makes me miss my social life. I felt sad not because I miss my social life, but because this friend can’t understand my happiness. Reflecting on the question I realize that I shouldn’t be surprised, because the truth is that I am only 22 and none of my friends has settled down or plan children. To start a family after graduation has never been my plan either, but sometimes life gifts us with magical opportunities we shouldn’t miss. And I decided not to let go of mine. And I am happy.  

However, with this decision, I had my whole life completely changed just for a second. And while the world continues to be the same, everything seems different to me.  But if I am asked what I miss from my life before, I would say that I miss my sleep and my old clothes, but social life? I miss speaking to friends and I am afraid not to become a boring companion just because my world has become so baby oriented. But my new responsibilities haven't made me miss life before, because I don’t. I am the same person, but I have new perspective which fulfills me. Because motherhood has brought the best out of me and makes me feel and want to be a better person every day. If the price is to sacrifice my social life, I am more than happy to give it away.

But the reality is parenthood doesn’t make you boring, friendless and deprived of fun. You just need to adapt to the changes, but once you do, you will love what you will find on the other side. I can make new friends, I can appreciate my free time more and I find more pleasure and happiness in small and simple moments. 

“Before having two fat little cherubs under two (who expect attention and military-esque devotion to their every need 24 hours a day), I lived a life of wanton wanderlust. With fun-loving friends from Los Angeles to London, I was lost in a haze of youth and no responsibilities. Other than work, there was nothing stopping me from having constant fun. But it was becoming boring. I wanted an anchor – I craved it. And, when I had two wailing, smiling, joyful little blobs of waddling pink flesh, they became my entire existence, and saved me from one of pure apathy.” 

I have a child, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have dreams anymore, it means I have a reason to follow them more than ever. I am a mum who have just graduated, but it doesn’t mean I will stop perusing my career, it means I will need to work twice as hard to progress. I am probably the youngest of all of the mothers I have met so far, but I don’t feel less capable of raising my child the best possible way.

“Right now life is good. And being a mum is the best part of it.” is how the column ends and there isn’t better words to describe this unique feeling.

RIP Peaches Gedolf

For reading the full column: Mother&Baby magazine

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